Felt like I had no chance with you and.. I just couldn't deal with it so I tried to forget about it for just one night but it's made me not able to slee. These past few days its either I sleep all day or don't at all. I can't stop thinking about you its all I ever worry about these days. You. I'm surpried you're even talking to me im grateful. I know James was there for you when I had my fair share of fucking up your life. I'm not who I was when I did hat to you. I can't ever take that back and not even a million sorrys will ever fix what's happened. I get that it's hard to trust me. I just.. Idk wher im going with this but..
Every direction I look points me to you. And im trying.. It may not show but I am. Sorry for this long message it isn't what I wanted to do. But I have o much to say to you. So much I want to do with you. I know I said I wanted a real life relationship with you but u didn't mean we jump into it right awy. I need to fix me and you need to take care of your baby and see what happens next. I'm not going anywhere.
Me:I want to be able to trust you mark, but idk if I can in some ways... It might take awhile to trust in that way.. But ill never trust james ever again.. So ill never be with him again. Ill never forgive him for what he did this time... I just know, I can't handle being hurt again, this past year I've been by far on edge... To much has been going on and I can't take it anymore.. Idk wtf I'd do if something happened again, or if I was hurt again... But I know I wouldn't want to even live through it again ...
Him:You are this amazing girl I haven't stopped loving and if I said I have I was in denial trying to protect myself from letting you in again but im here wth arms wide open praying hoping.. That I get a chance at a life with you
I don't want you to be hurt I don't want anything bad happen to the girl of my dreams. I know it's hard to believe these words any of it but I am NOT lyng.. I talk to Corey about you still. Wanting to be with you everything. I try not to linger cause when I talk about you I go on and on. You're still inhere you can't see what I mean but im pointing inside my chest and the nice guy you knew is still here deep but still here
I'm going to try to sleep.. Just wish every bad thing I've ever done to you in the past never happened. I wish I wasn't such a fuck up in life that way.I'd be there where you are right now and not here living with my parents. That's what im doing next year. Doing a 180 and making a future for myself. Tobe the guy you want to be with. I've got a lot of cleaning up to do. It won't be easy but.. You're my goal so I know it'll be worth it. And for what it' worth I am sorry. I do love you, care about you. As a friend, as a person, and since you are my first love and the girl I won't let get away
Me: :/
Him:If it felt like I was hiding something from you these past few days or felt distant. Now you know everything
And.. Just feeling like I'd see you again.. You have no idea how happy and excited I was. Butterflies.. I was really smiling. You do that to me

Here's the start of trust
My name is mark kristoffer Gonzales. My mom is 41 her name is daisy. My step dad is 44 his name is Joseph. I live with both ofthem in Virginia at 2464 curie court Herndon va 20171. I'm Filipino and so are my parents. I'm an only child with 2 dogs and a cat. I'm 6foot 1 and aroud 160 pounds. I love bacon, pizza, lasagna, burgers, and hot wings. I love techno rock some rap metal acoustics and indie. You're the only girl I've eve met In real life from a videogame. The first time i smoked pot was when i was 16. I'm suicidal and secretly depressed but i haven't shown any signs of hat now. I have an addictive personality but those who are closest to me can fix me. I can give you both my parents numbers as well. I dropped out of hih school buy regretting it now. My runescape acc info is

I currently like only 1 girl and no dudes.  how am i doing so far wit telling you the truth? I'm on the verge of passing out but i want you to know. Ask and I'll give you an answer, there won't be any i don't knows. I'm 10% open with you
Me:....
Him:Trust isn't given from just a day. I know. But this is just the first step. And I'd it takes a lifetime. I'll work for it. You're worth every second