I liked this girl for 4 years. I didnt even believe in the concept of "love" to begin with. So as far as I was concerned, this girl was the closest thing to "love" i ever had experience with in my lifetime yetfar. My thought process was: I'd rather lose my virginity with something this close to "love" than to go on for idk how long, with nothing. At least I could wait for "love" without my virginity on my shoulder bothering me, and reminding me about what i might be missing.