I always know where my wife is.

I always know how much time I have to fool around.

I always have an excuse to explain where I'd been and with whom. 

If it so happens that I'm in the middle of fooling around with a woman and suddenly get a call from my wife and decide not to take it, I will always return her call and ask how she's doing and explain why I couldn't take her call previously. After returning the call, I always wait 10-15 minutes in case she forgot to tell me something.

My secretary always takes my calls for me when I step outside or unbeknownst to her, with a woman. After which I personally call her back myself and tell her I've been out on a business meeting.

The women I meet with are aware of my married status, and treat it with understanding. Even after claiming that having an affair with a married man is crossing some sort of line which they claim to respect. Women who have real qualms with the fact that a married man is hitting on them show it almost immediately, and it is easily noticable.

I am always careful, since my entire familys well being hangs in the balance. For this reason, I have no drunk adventures with women in the middle of the night. Firstly, it's barbaric and inconsiderate. Second of all, alcohol clouds your mind and judgement. I always calculate and anticipate my next step. I look over my shoulder to make sure nothing slipped past my mind. I meticulously and thoroughly examine myself, my clothing, my car and even take note my scent. Women are very good at noticing unfamiliar perfumes. 

I cannot not cheat. I cant just sit around at home glaring at my wife every now and again. The mere thought of this kind of life not only bores me, it exhausts me. I do not believe men who claim to spend their entire lives with one woman, and never cheat on her, or at least fantasize about doing so.

Perhaps, someone might ask why did I even get married in the first place? 
I could have just remained single and switched partners as often and as carelessly as I wanted, right? Well, truth is, I can't quite answer that question clearly. I had this kind of life in the past, where I had different women every other week, and one period of time it was a new woman every single day of the week, bar the weekends. But after some time, this gets very boring and exhaustive. The fulfillment and happiness that comes with casual sex gets mundane the more often you do it. Tiredness and apathy begins to take root. 

But when you're married, it's the complete opposite. There is no constant lust for a handful of women every day. But those rare moments when you have a chance to 'steal' away some emotional goods from your family in order to spend it on the women you're having an affair with is magnified by a thousand times more than it would in any other case. I guess the adrenaline coupled with the fact you have to sneak around, amplifies your emotional output on some level. Making it a whole new and exciting experience.

All things put aside, I truly love my wife. My wife - is the kind of person I realistically see myself growing old with. My wife, is a loving partner that shares my views, my opinions and most importantly, my love. I cannot imagine what I'd do if I had lost her.

But unfaithfulness is the only thing keeping me from turning into a boring, dull husband. The kind that sleeps in the same bed with her but covers himself with different sheets, and the kind that can easily fall asleep without her. The kind you take to meet eachothers families on a regular basis and the kind that no longer has that 'glare' in his eyes when he looks at you. The kind that other women wouldn't even bother turning around for on the street.

A man who doesn't cheat, is not normal. I'd like someone to prove me wrong.