I was already having a shitty day because of the dinosaur thing that got posted, and I wanted to express why it made me feel so fucking awful, but I thought "No, I can't do that, they'll ban me for being off topic, I'll just say sorry for saying anything and drop the subject." So I did. And I fucking got banned anyways.

Well if any gold members are reading this, here's how it is. When I see a picture of something dinosaur related on Facepunch, I don't look at it and think "I can't wait to brag about my fetish on the internet and piss everyone off!". I don't even get turned on. I get a tiny bit of euphoria, the kind you might get from looking at a picture of an attractive or beautiful woman, which quickly turns to craving more, which turns to desperation (usually I try to relieve this by posting jokingly about it, which usually doesn't help) which turns to depression, which turns to me laying in bed for half an hour clutching my pillow with tears in my eyes, begging and praying for reality to break or for something to happen so that I'm not so hopeless. You may look at me with pity or disgust, thinking I'm a horrible loser. There are tons of lonely men out there, and while they might have fan service and porn and such, I'm not going to pretend I'm any worse off or more deserving of sympathy than they are. I've thought about how dumb it is that my desires are so bizarre or why it has to be a dinosaur or dragon or something like that and not a human. It doesn't make any sense and it's fucking stupid but no amount of reasoning with myself has been able to change it. No amount of thinking about how shallow it makes me to crave something like that instead of being able to settle for human companionship changes anything. Calling my desires and wants stupid and shallow and nonsensical and telling myself there's no reason for them because nothing like that will never happen, doesn't make any of those desires or wants any weaker. I keep telling myself that maybe some day I'll be able to find humans attractive and move on but it's never happened. Part of me doesn't want to move on because there's still this delusion deep in my mind that it won't be impossible some day, and no matter how hard I try I still can't get rid of that delusion

I figure now that I'm banned anyways I might as well post this. Sorry about derailing LMAO pics.