Dear Cody Chiarlnaza,

	Please read this entire thing, and don't just /read/ it, actually think about what I'm saying, and maybe try to see it from my Point of View a bit.
	I took so long to write this because I'm dreading writing it, I'm going to say some harsh things because I'm hurt and upset over our entire relationship.
	Regardless, please try your hardest to take this as /constructive/ criticism, and not just me yelling at you, because I'm /trying/ not to.
	
	I knew I liked guys a year ago, and I don't know why, but I had an attraction to you for whatever reason, I don't remember what it was, but for some reason I liked you.
	I clearly knew that you didn't feel the same way, and I didn't like that fact honestly, I knew I had no chance with anyone but you, because you seemed to be a little open I guess you could say.
	So of course, like a terrible person, I made it a goal to date you, and I succeeded, an entire year of coming on to you, hitting on you, and getting really close to you.
	I regret that...a lot, I don't regret dating you, I regret forcing you to be something you're not, you're not gay, bisexual, or hell, even curious.
	The only reason you liked me is because I knew what to do, I knew what buttons to press (Physically and emotionally).
	I've never shared that with anyone, but it's the truth, you never really liked any guy except for me, but you sure loved how I knew where to touch you, when, and what to say.
	I took advantage of you, and despite me being a psychopath, I shouldn't have, in my mind, I was going to date you and be happy and love you.
	What really happened was a mistake, I ended up dating a guy I didn't really know, who didn't /really/ like me, and I didn't really like him.
	
	I'm sorry I did that, it was a mistake and it shouldn't have happened, but for god knows what reason, I made a pact to myself not to break up with you regardless of how I felt.
	I don't regret that.
	
	I'm going to start with the negative things that happened in our time together, and then the positive things, again, I'm trying to be constructive, although it won't look like it.
	
	These are out of order, so try to follow along the best you can.
	A while ago, you called me when you were high, that pissed me off beyond belief, I hate drugs and don't talk to those who use them around me.
	Yes, I have done weed before, and while I don't regret it, I don't and won't do it again.
	
	Often times, you will say "Bye" out of no-where in a conversation, that is incredibly rude and pisses me off, as I'm sure it annoys others, if you really have to go simply say "Hey, sorry but I have to do blah blah blah, cya.."
	If you had done that over the what, 7 conversations we've had over the internet, I would've been much more content with you.
	
	Be mindful of what times people sleep, calling me at like 12 AM is not acceptable, it annoys the shit out of me, so does calling me at 8PM asking me to come over (Last summer)
	
	I hate to speak for others, but I personally believe that some others in our group of friends had trouble with you as well.
	Personally, I think it's the manners, I don't know who taught you them, if you were taught manners, but you never used them with me
	Things like Please and Thank you go a long way, but so does other things, like staring at someone who's eating, or begging someone for a snack or treat they are eating.
	Hell, I could never eat in front of you because you'd /always/ ask for some. Now that isn't a big deal, but you'd always ask for MORE.
	It's really rude to do that, despite what you may have seen.
	
	You need to look at your role models, as amazing as Donovan may be / seem, he's not a good role model at /all/.
	I understand your mom isn't a good one either, and neither is Steve, but maybe you should find your own role model, or be your own.
	Find someone you aspire to be like, or decide what you want to be like, because Donovan acts immature for his age, which is why he is how he is.
	
	You sincerely aren't like your brother, you're very different from him. You don't want to be him, he's a cool guy and all, but he's not as smart as he lets on, and his beliefs aren't the best either.
	The government isn't some big thing that's out to get us, honestly, he's gone too far with that, you should research on your /own/, without him, on what /you/ believe in.
	
	You are NOT a bad person, you've proven time and time again that you are compassionate and care for others, it may seem "cool" to be rude, obnoxious, or controversial, but it's not. Those kinds of things will keep you from making friends and meeting people that may help you in life.
	Those are the kinds of things that scared me, and others off from you, you are a caring person.
	For example, that time I stole that brick? That was me being a ignorant jackass because I was bored, but right after that you bitched me out, I didn't see Donovan or Al complaining, but you did, you did because you found it wrong to do that, which it was.
	You have morals. You are not a psychopath, and you have sympathy for others, you just need to show it more.
	
	Look around you, look at the people you see daily, and those you see often, look at the ones you make an effort to contact, and the ones you haven't seen or talked to in a while.
	Now look at how they affect you, people like Donovan, who tell you about the Government and people being stupid, then people like your mother, trying to be kind hearted
	Sit back and look at who you want to really listen to, and who will help you the most in life when it comes to deciding who you are.
	
	Maturity...it's something we do and don't have, I hate to admit it, but I'm more mature than 90% of people my age.
	Being mature is not laughing at dirty jokes just because they're dirty, or being able to see the world for what it is...or knowing how to act in each situation.
	You are not mature...and that was the biggest factor for my regrets of dating you. I don't know when you'll mature, but you will...I just wish it would've happened when I knew you.
	
	Your comedy, you need to review it, because screaming "ayooo" after a joke /isn't/ funny, it makes you look like a douchebag
	You need to find a comedian that you really like that isn't someone like pewdiepie, and adapt from theirs.
	Screaming is /not/ funny, you do not even comprehend how many times you have incited rage in my heart from screaming at the top of your lungs right next to me.
	It is /not/ funny to over-react to a event, such as screaming when the kickball hits you, just fucking ignore it, please.
	
	Try not to be obnoxious, think about others when you act socially. Being obnoxious is thinking about yourself without thinking of others, and you are very obnoxious.
	You scream without thinking, you laugh or comment without thinking, you ask/beg without thinking. You need to think about whether what you're about to do is rude or not, because many times it is.
	Please think before you speak, you say you do, but you really don't. I used to act the same way, but I stopped that in 6th grade, which was the turning point in my life when it comes to maturity.
	
	Don't make rude comments, when we were cuddling and I was all happy, you'd point out things that made me really self concious and upset (Such as pointing out a hair on my face or something with my appearance)
	I spent a lot of time to fix my hair and my face and body to make you happy, and for you to point out my flaws when I never did (Until now) is messed up, and wrong.
	
	You should've treated me like a woman, like someone you respect, not just a friend you don't even seem to care about, and then when I left, you suddenly gave a fuck.
	But it was too late, I moved and you aren't going to see or hear from me after this letter..It's partially my fault, but that's how it is.
	
	It's best not to ruin the moment, and making rude remarks or doing something disgusting while cuddling or kissing isn't okay.
	You're good at kissing, honestly, but don't try to suck my face like a vacuum when you do it.
	
	When in a relationship, it's best to communicate.
	We had no communication, ever, you made big decisions without telling me several times and it really upset me, for example
	You told your parents really early, you had no reason to, but you did, and that restricted our relationship in a sense, which really sucked.
	If you had come to me before hand, I could've explained why you shouldn't do that, but because you decided you could be independant, it didn't work out at all.
	I went an entire year without telling my family, becuase I was still deciding what I was, so you ended up falsly telling your family that you're bi, even though you're as straight as it gets.
	
	You got mad about me telling Brittney.
	You do not understand that Brittney is my best friend in the world, I would die for her any day, she's on the same level as my dad, if she were to die, so would I.
	She is the closest person to me there is, and she knows about everything I decide to tell her, and she was the very first to know about me and you.
	She heard every story, and I re-told her every conversation we've had, every meeting that occured, and every "close" moment we've had.
	I'm sorry, but I'm an asshole, yet another reason we shouldn't have dated.
	
	I tried one time to communicate with you, I asked you a few questions about your thoughts.
	You said "My brain hurts" and we stopped..another reason why I regret dating you..
	During that time, I believe I also asked you to be serious...you still weren't, and that upset me.
	
	Remember before we were dating, where I was openly bisexual and we'd hang out?
	Remember how I was always upset?
	It's because you kept giving me signals, unknowingly, that you kinda liked me..and I was frustrated that you were sending me mixed signals..that's what made me strive to make you like me, and you did..but only because I knew what to do, you never really liked me.
	
	You hurt me a lot...you've made me sad for days, you've made me cry, you've made me hate everything, and you've made me hate you...and you don't even realize that you did it.
	Your rude remarks, not caring about others' feelings, ignoring problems, just being a jerk all around...that was the biggest problem.
	
	I'm done with the negative side...now for the /constructive/ criticism, everything above this was supposed to be constructive, but I know it didn't sound like it.
	
	Your mother has lived life for probably over 40 years, she has been through /everything/ you've been through and more, no matter how stupid you may think she is, she's smart.
	She may seem like she doesn't know what she's saying, but she does, please..I beg of you, listen to what she says, always.
	That doesn't mean follow her beliefs to the core, but at the least consider everything she says, she's usually right.
	
	Religion is a great thing, I understand you don't believe some god in the sky is controlling everything, but it honestly hurts nobody to at least look into the idea.
	I find comfort in believing there is a god, it's someone to talk to when you're down, and someone to share your problems with, now I still share everything with Brittney, but at least he comforts me.
	You can find guidance in Religion and God, so please don't shoot it down so quickly just because Donovan does..it really is an interesting concept.
	
	
i just
i stopped there and i was finally done the entire "negative" section, but i never wrote the positive section
if you follow everything said here you'll make your own positive section i guess.