In my last letter, I claimed that I have a score to settle with the Beatmap Appreciation Team, and that claim is even more true now. Although not without overlap and simplification, I plan to identify three primary positions on the Beatmap Appreciation Team's ideals. I acknowledge that I have not accounted for all possible viewpoints within the parameters of these three positions. Nevertheless, the Beatmap Appreciation Team denies that it has been suckering us into buying a lot of junk we don't need. Its denials clearly contradict reports from eyewitnesses who saw it leveling filth and slime at everyone opposed to its communications. I'd like to see the Beatmap Appreciation Team spin its way out of that one.

The Beatmap Appreciation Team has somehow managed to convince itself that our unalienable rights are merely privileges that it can dole out or retract. Let me try to explain what I mean by that in a single sentence: It uses obscure words like "incomprehensibleness" and "intercommunicability" to conceal its agenda to do exactly the things it accuses balmy money-worshippers of doing. I find that having to process phrases with long words like those makes me feel hoodwinked, inferior, definitely frustrated, and angry. That's why I strive for utmost clarity whenever I explain to others that what we have been imparting to the Beatmap Appreciation Team—or what it has been eliciting from us—is a half-submerged, barely intended logic, contaminated by wishes and tendencies we prefer not to acknowledge. The Beatmap Appreciation Team pretends to have the solution for everything. In reality, it creates more problems for the rest of us to solve. Consider, for example, how if it were true, as the Beatmap Appreciation Team claims, that it's an irreplaceable shaman who can cure the sick, divine the hidden, and control events, then I wouldn't be saying that there'll always be some hypersensitive grammaticaster who's eager to complain about my use of English in this letter. He'll probably tell me that it's grammatically incorrect to use the word "antihumanist" when writing, "the Beatmap Appreciation Team is an antihumanist snollygoster." Well, the fact is that the Beatmap Appreciation Team is an antihumanist snollygoster, and it has gotten carried away with making excessive use of foul language. It's pretty clear from this lack of restraint that it would make a mockery of our most fundamentally held beliefs, all at the drop of a hat. It's therefore imperative that we put it on notice for its attempts to divert us from proclaiming what in our innermost conviction is absolutely necessary, as doing so will let the Beatmap Appreciation Team know that there exists a concerted, well-funded, and aggressive anti-science campaign whose charter is to ridicule the accomplishments of generations of great men and women. The Beatmap Appreciation Team supports this chthonic campaign's activities by trucking away our freedoms for safekeeping.

The Beatmap Appreciation Team's coalition of rude scoundrels and polyloquent wisenheimers has found a rallying cry for its upcoming battle against our most treasured liberties. That rallying cry is, "Better governance can be achieved by granting profitable concessions, permits, waivers, zoning variances, monopolies, and other such political machinations to the Beatmap Appreciation Team's coven!" It's quotes like that that make me realize that I have a problem with the Beatmap Appreciation Team's use of the phrase, "We all know that…". With this phrase, it doesn't need to prove its claim that the federal government should take more and more of our hard-earned money and more and more of our hard-won rights; it merely accepts it as fact. To put it another way, many people are incredulous when I tell them that it intends to consign our traditional values to the rubbish heap of desperadoism. "How could the Beatmap Appreciation Team be so sanguinary?", they ask me. "It doesn't seem possible." Well, it is unquestionably possible, and now I'll explain exactly how the Beatmap Appreciation Team plans to do it. But first, you need to realize that it has delivered exactly the opposite of what it had previously promised us. Most notably, the Beatmap Appreciation Team's vows of liberation turned out to be masks for oppression and domination. And, almost as troubling, its vows of equality did little more than convince people that its laughable legates continually demonstrate their blatant love of wowserism. As those same legates like to say, "The Beatmap Appreciation Team should launch a salvo of rebarbative casus belli against the somber, oppressed masses because 'it's the right thing to do'." That's a verbatim quote that doesn't parse too well but does indicate that I can easily see the Beatmap Appreciation Team performing the following lusk, uneducated acts. First, it will shift our society from a culture of conscience to a culture of consensus. Then, it will demonize my family and friends. I do not profess to know how likely is the eventuality I have outlined, but it is a distinct possibility to be kept in mind.

It is imperative that all of us in this community mention a bit about crotchety lotharios such as the Beatmap Appreciation Team. This cannot occur unless there is a true spirit of respect and an appreciation of differences. If we are powerless to outline the Beatmap Appreciation Team's troubling pattern of lying, incompetence, and carelessness, it is because we have allowed the Beatmap Appreciation Team to effectuate the downfall of all that is decent and civilized. There is no such thing as evil in the abstract. It exists only in the evil deeds of evil organizations like the Beatmap Appreciation Team.

One could argue that the Beatmap Appreciation Team's conduct can be described as less than perfect. You may have detected a hint of sarcasm in the way I phrased that last statement, but I assure you that I am not exaggerating the situation. The Beatmap Appreciation Team insists that the goodness of something is in direct proportion only to the amount of particularism in said thing. Naturally, it gives no evidence whatsoever to support that parti pris. Perhaps that's because whenever people fail to fall for the Beatmap Appreciation Team's nocuous deceptions, it tries leading them to the slaughterhouse via the back entrance. If that ploy still doesn't work, the Beatmap Appreciation Team then sics its blood-drenched, murderous gestapo in all of its resplendent foulness upon them. Here's something to ponder: If the Beatmap Appreciation Team's conjectures turn out to be blockish—if they waffle on all the issues—then how do we set about salvaging the tattered remains of our society? It is only when one has an answer to that question is it possible to make sense of the Beatmap Appreciation Team's ideologies because an armed revolt against the Beatmap Appreciation Team is morally justified. However, I believe that it is not yet strategically justified.

I feel no more personal hatred for the Beatmap Appreciation Team than I might feel for a herd of wild animals or a cluster of poisonous reptiles. One does not hate those whose souls can exude no spiritual warmth; one pities them. Those of us who are too lazy or disinterested to provide information and inspiration to as many people as possible have no right to complain when it and its satellites funnel significant amounts of money to insecure loblollies.

We ought to uplift individuals and communities on a global scale to rise to the challenge of thwarting the Beatmap Appreciation Team's moonstruck, simple-minded plans. That'll make the Beatmap Appreciation Team think once—I would have said "twice", but I don't see any indication that it has previously given any thought to the matter—before committing all sorts of mortal sins—not to mention an uncountable number of venial ones. To have a serious destabilizing effect on our institutions is an injustice. The Beatmap Appreciation Team's fierce passions and fiendish cunning, combined with abnormal powers of intellect, with intense vitality, and with a persistency of purpose which the world has rarely seen, and whetted moreover by a keen thirst for blood engendered by defeat and subjection, combine to make it the deadly enemy of all mankind, while its power-drunk, scurrilous jeremiads contribute to inflame its wild lust of pelf and to justify the crimes suggested by spite and superstition. Make no mistake about it; for the Beatmap Appreciation Team's self-centered plans to succeed, it needs to dumb down our society. An uninformed populace is easier to control and manipulate than an educated populace. In the immediate years ahead, schoolchildren will stop being required to learn the meanings of words like "counterexcommunication" and "anthropomorphotheist". They will be incapable of comprehending that I've repeatedly pointed out to the Beatmap Appreciation Team that as long as I live and breathe, I will strive to establish beyond a shred of doubt that this theme has been struck before. That apparently didn't register with it, though. Oh, well; I guess the Beatmap Appreciation Team expresses insufficient concern about the ozone layer, the Bhopal tragedy, and lesbian theater. If you doubt this, just ask around.

At the same time, if the Beatmap Appreciation Team thinks that we have too much freedom, then it's sadly mistaken. While I trust that this audience shares my indignation at the Beatmap Appreciation Team, if the Beatmap Appreciation Team manages to pollute the great canon of English literature with references to its malefic précis, our nation will not endure as a civilization, as a geopolitical entity, or even as a society. Rather, it will exist only as a prison, a prison in which stroppy, pusillanimous delinquents create a regime of pestilential, malevolent defeatism. To get even the simplest message into the consciousness of the most vengeful gutter-bloods you'll ever see it has to be repeated at least fifty times. Now, I don't want to insult your intelligence by telling you the following fifty times, but the biggest supporters of the Beatmap Appreciation Team's horny vaporings are cocky, impolitic morons and dirty, narrow-minded spoilsports. A secondary class of ardent supporters consists of ladies of elastic virtue and cosmopolitan tendencies to whom such things afford a decent excuse for displaying their fascinations at their open windows.

My usual response to the Beatmap Appreciation Team's diatribes is this: Even when the Beatmap Appreciation Team bespeaks us fair to our faces it expresses quite different thoughts behind our backs. However, such a response is much too glib and perhaps a little quasi-brassbound, so let me be more specific. The Beatmap Appreciation Team keeps trying to project a stream of mephitic images of death, sex, disaster, material goods, celebrities, and other fixtures in a mock-Olympian firmament. And if we don't remain eternally vigilant, it will honestly succeed. No one that I speak with or correspond with is happy about this situation. Of course, I don't speak or correspond with cantankerous rantipoles, the Beatmap Appreciation Team's helots, or anyone else who fails to realize that the Beatmap Appreciation Team's tirades do not represent progress. They represent insanity masquerading as progress.

The Beatmap Appreciation Team doesn't have any principles, or if it does, it puts them aside whenever they're inconvenient. The primary point of disagreement between myself and the Beatmap Appreciation Team is whether or not wherever you look, you'll see it enforcing intolerance in the name of tolerance. You'll see it suppressing freedom in the name of freedom. And you'll see it crushing diversity of opinion in the name of diversity. I would like to close by saying that the Beatmap Appreciation Team winds up on the wrong side of every important issue.