Line 10
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.95,0:00:23.00,Default,Amakasu,0,0,0,,As expected of a shrine priestes.
Make this : As expected of a shrine priest.
"priestes" is plural (i think).

Line 11
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.50,0:00:27.40,Default,Amakasu,0,0,0,,The largest danger known to mankind will soon be upon us.
SUggestion: Add word "Actually"
jitsuwa means actually, if i am right.

Line 12
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.40,0:00:28.54,Default,Yuri,0,0,0,,Dnager?
TYPO.

Line 14
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.75,0:00:32.50,Default,Amakasu,0,0,0,,Kusanagi Godou-san may be involved again.
Make this : Most likely, Kusanagi Godou-san will be involved again.
jitsuwa can means actually or most likely, for some situation.

Line 19
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.18,0:00:49.55,Default,Yuri,0,0,0,,I don't believe Kusanagi-san would involve himself with something like that.
Make this ; But, i don't believe Kusanagi-san would involve himself with something like that again.

Line 20
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.55,0:00:52.86,Default,Amakasu,0,0,0,,Right, that's why I would like you to confirm he isn't.
Make this: It's true. I want you to confirm if he isn't involved again.
It's better like this.

Line 25
add "?" to the line. It's a question type, isn't it?

Line 39
TYPO.

Line 43
Change "of" to "a".

Line 74
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.87,0:05:19.35,Default,Godou,0,0,0,,Sorry, it took me a while to get here.
Make this : Sorry for making you waiting here.
It's more simple like this (in my opinion).

Line 81
change "erica" to "Erica".

Line 84
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.56,0:05:45.60,Default,Yuri,0,0,0,,No, it's just Amakasu requested I do something for him again.
Make it : No, it's just Amakasu asked me to do something for him again.
It's more simple this way.

Line 86
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.15,0:05:51.90,Default,,0,0,0,,and asked me to confirm if it was true.
I'm just correcting the line : And he asked me to confirm if it was true.

Line 94
Need a "?"

Line 95
Need a "."

Line 96
Dialogue: 0,0:06:11.00,0:06:15.27,Default,Godou,0,0,0,,By divine instrument do you mean\Nsomething like a stone tablet or a grimoire?
Make it like this : I mean, is it something like a stone or a grimoire?
It's more clear for viewer to understand.

Line 97
using {\i0} and {\i1} doesn't make any difference when i test it.

Line 105
Change "So" to be "But,"
demo means "but", right?

Line 126
Dialogue: 0,0:07:33.88,0:07:37.30,Default,Yuri,0,0,0,,might very well lead to the end of this world!
It's better like this: it may lead us to the end of the world!
The original line seems too hard to understand, so i have an idea to make it more easy to understand.

Line 131
Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.65,0:07:47.69,Default,Yuri,0,0,0,,The situation is grave.
what situation? who is experiencing that? and when that situation happen?

Line 138
change "alice" to "Alice".

Line 139
add "was" after "She". is it correct?

Line 161
add "," sign after "but".

Line 162
need "," sign too, after "true".

Line 169
need "," sign too.

Line 175
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.75,0:09:57.00,Default,Yuri,0,0,0,,Eyes of the night.
if it's a title, then the correct one is : Eyes of the Night.