I'll start this off with saying that I'm not very good with words. Or reading people. Or much social stuff, really. If I was, this stuff wouldn't have happened and I wouldn't have felt the overwhelming need to type this out.

Today, my mood has been in a constant state of shitty. I lied to you about it, by omitting information. I know what's the reason and I'm going to tell you and hope that the knowledge will at least fix a little bit of the fuck-up that I made. Someone I knew very well has ended their own life, yesterday. The twenty-third. I'm worried about the others affected by it, because if I start focusing on myself, it's going t oturn into a loop and I don't think anyone around me wants to deal with a plumetting moody number.

When I had said that I'd be entertaining you, I didn't mean it as if it bothered me. I would have been grateful for the distraction. Maybe it would have taken a bit for me to get the swing back to normal, but I would have enjoyed it. You would have been the person starting it and I would have been trying to attach myself to what you would have wanted. As was mentioned in this paragraph, maybe I would have enjoyed it, maybe not. Who knows? Everything with you has been enjoyable so far, though, even the improptu horsecock thing.

As for not feeling wanted on your side, that was entirely my fault. Shitty word choice, order, whatever. My fault for the miscommunication. But I have to go against that. You're usually always wanted, but usually not around most of the time. There is a shortage of Emmie and the demand is very high. There is a very rare moment when you're not wanted, unless you count unconscious Sevn as not wanting.

I'm sorry for making you feel like a bother and I'm sorry for making you feel unwaiting and I ask that you forgive me and give me a chance to make it up to you. I don't expect a second  chance t ofix my mistakes, but I would be very grateful if you felt the want to give me one.