Gentlemen's Gathering Rules

Please read all these rules before attending the second gathering at command centre Whiskey Lima. Come at any time you like after 1600, ideally 1700. This will be an all-night event, so please prepare yourselves mentally and physically.

Please bring food and drinks, I have instructed my mother to procure some food and beverages, however it may not be enough to sustain all five of us through out the night. Please don't all bring cider, that stuff is minging.

- No scaring the cat
- No excessive drinking
- No spirits
- No drugs, including weed. (Except alcohol, caffeine and insulin)
- No +1'ing without prior approval
- No degenerates
- No girls. This is a gathering and girls find me creepy anyway
- No being messy
- Don't stain/damage the new living room suite. It's new.
- No scaring the cat
- No bullying the cat
- Cat is more important than you
- I am always right
- No opening external doors/windows in presence of cat
- No punching walls
- No punching people's teeth out
- No getting high beforehand
- No drugs
- No deep-frying
- No oil
- No caffeine powder
- No homebrew
- No streaming like two hours of television
- No streaming videos, including football/tv/porn. Bring a DVD
- No trying to get me halfway through my monthly download quota.
- No going upstairs
- No thievery
- No rape
- No operating kitchen equipment except the tap without prior approval
- No complaining about it being cold if you're wearing shorts and have no sleeping bag
- No passing out
- No bringing wasps into the house
- No going to the park in the middle of the night, especially if wearing a tin-foil hat and holding a glass tankard of cider
- No driving to tesco at night when high/drunk
- No trying to get us arrested
- No rinsing glasses with whiskey and throwing it over your shoulder
- No ordering pizza/takeaway food unless you have the money, even then you must seek approval.

I trust I will see you all there.