"FUCK YOU, FACEBOOK, FUCK YOU. You're a fucking piece of shit.

And you know what, Facebook isn't that bad, but it's the fucking assholes that use it. I'm so fucking angry right now. I'm just gonna walk around with this fucking camera because I'm too fucking riled up. I'm just gonna go AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 

I don't, I, hrmmmm, I can't fucking stand Facebook because all fucking Facebook is is people that would never, NEVER in a million fucking years talk to each other, and they insist on posting comments on each other's fucking profiles. Like people post the stupidest fucking status updates and somebody you haven't talked to in fucking five years and some dumbass has to come in and be like "lol, that's what she said!" FUCK YOU. 

"lol" is the stupidest fucking thing in the goddamn world, especially on Facebook. Because you know when people use "lol"? When they say something dumb as shit because they have to fucking respond and they put "lol" at the end and it's like "that means it's a joke!" NO THAT MEANS IT'S FUCKING STUPID. WHAT THE FUCK. FUCK YOU, FACEBOOK. 

"I have 4000 fucking friends!" How many do you talk to? I don't know. "I like this, I dislike that! Hey send me this, send me that!" 

Oh, what the fuck, status updates? You get people that post status updates like especially with their goddamn fucking iPhones and shit, and their fucking Blackberries, like you have to post a fucking status update every fucking hour, or, or like three times a day so if they have nothing to fucking put, they put fucking song lyrics. WHY ARE YOU PUTTING SONG LYRICS? Unless that directly fucking affects what happened to you today, or has something to do with what the fuck you're talking about, why are you putting random song lyrics up there? And then you get dumbasses that respond to that, and they don't even know you're talking about a fucking song. Like someone will put some depressing stupid-ass fucking status update from some shitty James Blunt song and then someone will respond with like "oh no, what happened? Do you need to talk about it?" And then you have to tell them "No, asshole. It's from a song. You're stupid, but I'm stupid too because I'm the one who put my fucking status update from a fucking song." WHY? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? 

I don't give a fuck, I don't talk to you, I wouldn't talk to you on the fucking street. Why are you commenting on my Facebook page? Holy shit, "Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Go fuck yourself!" It's fucking ridiculous. "Hey, I like this, I like this comment, I like that comment!" 

And then you get the most bullshit status updates whatsoever, like, uh, like "Oh, I'm a fucking badass. I don't take shit from nobody. So if you don't like it, you can just shove off." Yeah bullshit, because you're a fucking piece of shit in real life. You would never say that to anybody. "I'm a tough guy on Facebook and I'm posting a status update. Oh, I have a thousand friends. Hey, I'm from New Jersey. We do it tough here. You don't like my attitude? Too bad, you can suck it." Yeah fuck you, you piece of shit. 

Facebook the concept was alright, but it's just the users who have completely ruined it. I can't fucking stand it. When you see someone that posts a status update, people feel fucking obliged to comment even if they have nothing to fucking say, nothing to fucking add to the fucking conversation, which most of it isn't a conversation; it's just some dumb shit uploading a pointless fucking thing just to throw it out there, just so that when I go on Facebook I can see that. Like "oh look, oh look, oh look, I'm so excited, somebody posted a status update! Oh, 'it snowed today.'" NO SHIT IT FUCKING SNOWED. 

And then people post fucking just retarded things. "Oh, I have nothing to do for New Years." You know, they live in, like, Virginia. And then some dipshit who lives in, like, California will be like "lol, party out here if you want!" Ha ha ha, lolz, it's funny. It's funny because there's no way in fucking Hell that you would ever go out to California to party with them and you know that, BUT IT'S A FUCKING FUNNY JOKE BECAUSE YOU PUT "LOL" ON IT. FUCK YOU, FACEBOOK, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. 

Goddamn it, it riles me up. This is why I never had a fucking Facebook account, and I finally get one with my fucking one and a half friends and I'm perfectly fine with it. Because you know why? Because I put things on there that I actually give a shit about. I do a status update like once every, like, fucking couple of weeks or maybe like once a week. 

"Oh, I left the house today!" HOLY SHIT, TIME TO GO FUCKING COMMENT ON EVERYBODY'S FACEBOOK STATUS BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THEY DO. It's bullshit. At least Twitter is meant to be bullshit. You put the fucking message, you read the message, you're done. Facebook is like "I gotta respond! I gotta like this! I gotta link that! I favorited this!" 

Fuck you, and fuck your bullshit, and fuck all the assholes who use Facebook BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD TO ME.

Happy New Year!"