Notification of Impending Kebab Removal
you are worst turk. you are the turk idiot you are the turk smell. to our croatia cousins you may come our contry. you may live in the zoo..ahahahaha ,bosnia we will never forgeve you. cetnik rascal FUck but fuck asshole turk stink bosnia sqhipere shqipare..turk genocide best day of my life. take a bath of dead turk..ahahahahahBOSNIA WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget ww2 .albiania we kill the king , albania return to your precious mongolia..hahahahaha idiot turk and bosnian smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE KEBAB FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. russia+usa+croatia+slovak=kill bosnia.. tupac alive in serbia, tupac making album of serbia . we are rich and have gold now hahahaha ha... you are ppoor stink turk.. you live in a hovel hahahaha, you live in a yurt ..fuck the croatia ,..FUCKk ashol turks no good i spit in the mouth eye of ur flag and contry. 2pac aliv and real strong wizard kill all the turk farm aminal with rap magic now we the serba rule. serbia greattst countrey
A Funny Story Involving a Brony
I had the funniest encounter with a brony last night at a concert. I was there, having a good time, when I noticed this brony in a fursuit next to me with the words "Bronies FTW" printed on the front. They were out of the safe territory of the internet, and I saw my chance. Vision practically tinted red, I  ripped the shitty attempt at a rainbow dash head off of that faggot, revealing the most repulsive, acne covered, three-inch thick glasses wearing, foot long hair covered face that I had ever seen. Obviously stunning him, I then loudly screamed in his face: "Yiff in hell, furfag!" As I ripped the poorly sewn eyes off of the unholy object, the little shit who once wore it with pride ran away like the little pussy he is after that. Let this be a message to all bronies: "You may be safe on the internet, but the minute you set foot outside in the real world, expect the full fury of society upon you. Your kind is not welcome here, and will be properly exterminated should it ever appear."
YOU LITTLE BITCH
I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. As we speak your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the USMC and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
*** PSA *** International System of Units *** PSA ***
One hitler shall henceforth be a unit of measurement equal to 6.0*106 human deaths. Standard SI prefixes apply. The true utility of the hitler as an SI unit is it allows useful unit conversions. For example: the EPA currently values a human life as being worth 6.9 million us dollars (6.9 megadollars). A simple unit conversion thus gives us 1 hitler is equivalent to -41,400,000,000,000 dollars. (-41 teradollars). It can therefore be quantitatively established whether or not someone is "worse than hitler". When congress failed to pass a stimulus bill in 2008 the market lost 1.2 trillion dollars in 1 day, roughly equivalent to 29 millihitlers. Joseph Stalin is the only human I know of who can be called worse than hitler, as his achievements clocked roughly 5 hitlers. When your bank nails you with a 35 dollar fine, you can confidently tell the teller that they are currently fucking you over to the tune of 84 picohitlers and ask if they have a very tiny auschwitz behind the counter.
Bronies are REAL men!
Before I even watched My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic for the first time, one of my friends (who got me to watch it) cautiously said to a friend of ours and myself: "Does watching My Little Pony and loving it make me less of a man?" My response was: "I think that the truest form of manliness is when a person does whatever feels genuine to them no matter who cares, how much, or for what reason. Machismo is ridiculous and self contradictory Manliness is being you even if nobody likes it." In short, when a man walks into Toys R Us and buys a My Little Pony figurine, he's being manly. The guy snarking at him from the other line is using machismo to protect himself. Watching the two of them, I'd admire the man who isn't afraid to be who he is. Machismo needs to die; It's just projected, exaggerated insecurity. Get in line and buy your pony. Like My Little Pony on Facebook and don't keep it from posting for all of your friends to see. The world doesn't need Fight Club; it needs ponies.
you are a fag
mother fucker you dont know who the fuck i am, you are a fag who likes sticking it in guys asses and you best believe that you'd be the one getting crammed in your fuckin rear by my Ukranian Fort-500 shotgun before i blow your fucking guts out your chest you faggit little bitch your fucking pathetic you best hope i never head to your town, i'll find yeah and shank you in your sleep, you wanna die motherfucker? faggit little cracker, hahaha I betyou aint ever even gotten and coochie, huh? ever got any pussy? i dont even keep count anymore, but it is definately past 35 cuz thats where i lost count bout a year or two ago, added a few since then, so ask yourseld, should your faggit no coochie gettin bitch ass maybe try to shut the fuck up you cocksucking homo bastard go kill yourself you worthless chunk of shit, your useless and lame as fuck, and i cant wait to show your gay ass faggit no roastin abilities, go slit your wrists you aint cool at all give up on your gay ass life
M&M duels
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Turkey Kingdom
Did I ever tell you about the time I saw a turkey? It was a very majestic bird. I attempted to catch it, but it lead me into the Turkey Kingdom where I was captured by the Turkey Republican Guard. I then had a dance off with the King of the Turkey Kingdom to win my freedom.It was an epic battle. In the end, the gobbles were all for me. I left a changed man that day. Freer of any burdens I had taken upon myself.
I milked a cat..
My sister had a cat, and the cat birthed a litter of kittens. Must've been 8 of them, and there was this one little runt... this little sweet little... little-engine-that-could runt... who wanted to get up there and couldn't really get access to the-- to the--to the-- to the-- to the teat. I went in and just simply, you know, just--into a little saucer, then took the saucer and fed it to Geppetto-- that's what I named him.
You are a douchebag.
Alright bro, I'm just gonna come out and say what everyone is thinking...you are a douche. An ugly ass, pop-collared douche. Seriously how did such a lazy, mutated sperm find a way to fuse with your mothers ovum? Please enlighten us, I'm sure it would solve many unanswered questions. From the looks of things I'm guessing your conception was the result of a night spent on the couch sinking vodka while mastubating with a crack-whore's second hand vibrator that still had a bit of residue on it. Cause let's be honest here, your face resembles the kind of thing I'd expect bulimic chicks to look at when they want to throw up. So do yourself a favor and start wearing a balaclava to cover up that pig-faced bowling ball you call a head or maybe even bury your cranium in the sand for a few years and just sit there, as I'm sure the rest of society would appreciate it. Phaggot.
true love
I would douse my balls in reptile attractant then army crawl naked through a 3.2 mile muddy plain littered with angry male snapping turtles if it meant once reaching the end I could fire one shot blindfolded from an air rifle to a dart board 90 feet away just for the chance of hitting the bullseye whereby if I hit I could take your prized piece of ass out on a candlelit Italian dinner.
BITCH
God you sound like a little bitch, not surprising that you look like one as well. Maybe when you get halfway to my level you will realize that I can say whatever the **** I like, but I doubt that will ever happen. And even though your face looks like it's spent 9 rounds with Mike Tyson in his prime I doubt you've ever been in a real fight, my guess is the only moves you would know are the "tap" or bloodied gurgle as you slip in and out of consciousness. So let's do this thing, tell me when and where homeslice. I'll ****ing crank your neck back and use that mop that you call a head of hair to wipe your ass after you **** your pants
gum
I would backstroke through a sandpit filled with banana puree then pole vault blindfolded into a pit of sexually frustrated baboons and fight my way out while wielding only a rusty slinky as my weapon, if it meant I could chew a two year old piece of gum you once spat on the floor of a KFC restroom.
cool story
Cool story chode. But I live and breathe mma everyday of the week and I ain't afraid of some dungeons & dragons clan master. You would never say **** to me in real life probably cause your third chin would warp whatever sound tried to come out of your hamburger hole. But should you step up I'll happily samoan ankle drop you back into the gutter where you belong
Master DDoser
What the fuck did you just fucking type about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at MIT, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids with Anonymous, and I have over 300 confirmed DDoSes. I am trained in online trolling and I’m the top hacker in the entire world. You are nothing to me but just another virus host. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on the Internet, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with typing that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we chat over IRC I am tracing your IP with my damn bare hands so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your computer. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can hack into your files in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.