10:33 PM - wizardful: hi
10:34 PM - wizardful: i was just wondering if you were ok with being friends yet
10:35 PM - Zayle: i would have to be ok with a lot of things that bother me, which im not
10:35 PM - wizardful: what does that mean
10:36 PM - Zayle: it means im not ok with everything i did for you adding up to nothing
10:37 PM - wizardful: we could be good friends- if we can't be good friends then it would truly add up to nothing
10:37 PM - Zayle: we were great friends only because i was trying to get you to meet me and in my mind fix what you broke
10:37 PM - wizardful: so you don't like me enough to want to be my friend?
10:37 PM - wizardful: or what
10:39 PM - Zayle: based off what ive seen i dont think so, but of course im going to be biased towards you choosing not to meet me
10:40 PM - Zayle: without you ive already changed quite a bit and realized a lot more
10:40 PM - Zayle: i was naive and obsessive
10:40 PM - wizardful: so how have you changed since then?
10:41 PM - Zayle: im starting to hate myself less and beginning to open my mind up more
10:41 PM - Zayle: i havent been depressed or lonely, because i know why things are the way they are now
10:41 PM - Zayle: and i know what i have to do to change them
10:41 PM - wizardful: ok, what do you have to do?
10:42 PM - Zayle: well thats the million dollar question
10:42 PM - Zayle: i would have answered get a girlfriend before today, but something happened and i have far more important things to focus on
10:43 PM - wizardful: what do you have to focus on then
10:43 PM - Zayle: a new job, the business i work for got bought, and anyone wanting to keep a job there has to get rehired and get through a drug test
10:44 PM - wizardful: oh geez
10:44 PM - wizardful: that must be rough
10:44 PM - Zayle: things will work out
10:44 PM - wizardful: i want to ask you something then
10:44 PM - wizardful: what can i do to prove i can be a good friend
10:44 PM - wizardful: i really really want to be your friend
10:44 PM - wizardful: i do
10:44 PM - wizardful: i miss talking to you and doing stuff together
10:44 PM - Zayle: i miss you too
10:45 PM - wizardful: can we please be friends then?
10:45 PM - wizardful: please
10:46 PM - Zayle: ill try to explain this
10:47 PM - Zayle: you were my goal in life for awhile, i didnt care about anything else
10:47 PM - Zayle: i didnt care about college
10:47 PM - Zayle: or finding a better job
10:47 PM - Zayle: or taking better care of myself
10:47 PM - Zayle: only you and making you feel good until you decide that youll meet me
10:48 PM - Zayle: even after the disastrous trip, a piece of me still thought we would be together
10:48 PM - Zayle: it would just take time, patience, and self sacrifice
10:48 PM - Zayle: we spent SO much time on skype and gaming
10:49 PM - Zayle: i didnt make any other friends or meet other people
10:49 PM - Zayle: i didnt do anything productive to advance my life or improve it
10:49 PM - Zayle: you were my focus, my goal
10:49 PM - Zayle: im not saying it was the right or wrong thing to do by any means
10:49 PM - Zayle: but when you finally said it, that you would NEVER meet me
10:50 PM - Zayle: you just shattered everything
10:50 PM - Zayle: ever since you said that i just dont feel the urge to make you feel good and special like i used to
10:50 PM - Zayle: because i need to make up for all the time i lost chasing you
10:50 PM - wizardful: well let me say this
10:51 PM - wizardful: and im not syaing it to change your mind or anything
10:51 PM - wizardful: i'm saying it because its the truth
10:51 PM - wizardful: when i said that i'd never meet you i said that out of frustration and anger
10:51 PM - wizardful: at the time i thought i meant it but
10:51 PM - wizardful: what i really should have said that
10:51 PM - wizardful: i still need to grow up
10:51 PM - wizardful: i haven't grown up yet
10:51 PM - wizardful: i'm not an adult
10:51 PM - wizardful: until that happens i can't meet you
10:51 PM - wizardful: so, maybe one day we can meet up as friends
10:51 PM - wizardful: i'm not against it
10:53 PM - Zayle: i never expected you to say that
10:53 PM - Zayle: that sort of changes everything
10:53 PM - wizardful: how
10:54 PM - Zayle: its not the idea i can still be with you, just that you sound so humble and mature right now
10:54 PM - wizardful: i'm just trying to be
10:54 PM - wizardful: i'm trying to change and be a better person
10:54 PM - Zayle: i am too
10:54 PM - wizardful: so can we really not be friends then?
10:54 PM - wizardful: you really were my best friend
10:55 PM - Zayle: it sucked removing you, but i felt it was better for both of us
10:55 PM - Zayle: i dont feel like i need to remove you
10:56 PM - wizardful: does that mean we can be friends again?