Once upon a time in a land located in the southern region of North Carolina. A boy by the name of Juggy Brodelteen lived in a swaggy 2 story house with a
sweet palm tree sitting out front. He goes by the name of "Red" as his handle on Naggyshit(A totally swag messenger). Next to his awesome rig of a piece of 
shit computer is his closet. No one but him and the mysterious creature inside of it knows what lies within the closet. But even Red himself is unsure what
 lies beyond those dirty, mustard stained closet doors. But enough about this rediculous closet; let's further introduce this fine looking adventurer.


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Red is a strange boy, beneath his smooth velvet red hat is silky black hair that would make batman himself jealous of that swag. But even further below that
 hairline where his eyes should be is nothing but darkness. Actually, his entire face is nothing but darkness. This strange dark shape of a face leads to 
some unknown area beyond the doors of the closet.Red is often seen imploding into his own face to hide within the safe boundary of the closet his face portal
 leads to to hide from his wife who expects child support to be paid. He wears a very lifelike human mask that completely hides his portal face. The poor 
saps at his school are easily fooled by his tomfoolery. He has an overwhelming taste for bacon,  shared by the strange creature dwelling within the closet 
that he has frequent conversations with on Naggyshit. He goes by the name of Branch who has gotten into the habit of relating to Red as his brother. Their 
conversations can include things from stupid spamming or frequent meaningless insults thrown left and right to each combatant. But enough talk of these two 
rediculous beings of utter insanity. We have other not-interesting people to talk about, like this whore.


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Red: Be this whore
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Unfortunately you can not be this whore because you have no flipping clue what the fuck that was about.

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Switch to the whore
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The pretty young thang standing right over there is our next character to introduce into this thrilling tale. Standing at 3'5" is a 16 year old girl with 
scorching red hair and a taste for melon bread. 

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Enter Name
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Her name is Shana, a very loving mother of four and Red's wife/slave driver. She and Red first met when she lured into Red's van with a crude "Free Candy"
 label spray painted on the side. I'd call it love at first sight but that would be cliché. Instead, I'll call it rape without condoms. This later resulted in the oldest of their kids being born and their relationship being started.