[12/30/2015 9:44:42 AM] V: Did you invite vris back into the chat. yes or no.
[12/30/2015 9:45:50 AM] V: because she's going through a lot of shit and she doesn't want to be here anymore and if you keep forcing her she gets uncomfortable about it.
[12/30/2015 10:14:42 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: i think staerk added her right after she left and then she left again
[12/30/2015 10:14:46 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: this was hours and hours and hours ago
[12/30/2015 10:15:03 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: i can look up le logs to find out exactly what time, if you wanna know
[12/30/2015 10:15:07 AM] V: she's going through. a lot a lot of bad shit right now.
[12/30/2015 10:15:09 AM] V: no it's fine
[1/3/2016 10:37:32 PM | Removed 10:40:16 PM] V: This message has been removed.
[1/3/2016 10:37:36 PM | Removed 10:40:13 PM] V: This message has been removed.
[1/3/2016 10:37:44 PM | Removed 10:40:14 PM] V: This message has been removed.
[1/3/2016 10:37:59 PM | Removed 10:40:12 PM] V: This message has been removed.
[1/3/2016 10:40:09 PM | Removed 10:48:43 PM] V: This message has been removed.
[1/3/2016 10:51:03 PM] V: nvm
[1/7/2016 6:12:26 AM] V: Listen you son of a bitch
[1/7/2016 6:12:47 AM] V: You have no idea what's going on
[1/7/2016 6:12:58 AM] V: Do not remove me from the chat
[1/7/2016 6:13:06 AM] V: I'll not even post in it
[1/7/2016 6:14:00 AM] V: I'm literally sobbing right now you don't want to do this please
[1/7/2016 6:15:26 AM] V: GRANT
[1/7/2016 6:15:33 AM] V: Fucking talk to me I swear to god
[1/7/2016 6:15:48 AM] V: You are just my worst fucking nightmare
[1/7/2016 6:16:40 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: everyone you dont hate is in the vris group
[1/7/2016 6:16:50 AM] V: I don't hate anyone
[1/7/2016 6:16:57 AM] V: Don't tell anyone else this
[1/7/2016 6:17:16 AM] V: I've fallen in love with vris and we both know too much about each other
[1/7/2016 6:17:20 AM] V: And
[1/7/2016 6:17:31 AM] V: Her being around someone who sexually harassed me
[1/7/2016 6:17:35 AM] V: And wanting that
[1/7/2016 6:17:39 AM] V: Is just
[1/7/2016 6:18:04 AM] V: It fucking hurts more than you'll ever dream of knowing and questions of whether or not I should leave come up every night
[1/7/2016 6:18:11 AM] V: I'm frantic fucked up and hysterical
[1/7/2016 6:18:16 AM] V: 
Just
[1/7/2016 6:18:32 AM] V: Stop acting like you can make things better from removing me
[1/7/2016 6:19:09 AM] V: There's far more damage you could do by not adding me.
[1/7/2016 6:19:17 AM] V: Than by keeping me
[1/7/2016 6:19:19 AM | Removed 6:20:20 AM] V: This message has been removed.
[1/7/2016 6:20:37 AM] V: Grant please
[1/7/2016 6:20:41 AM] V: Please grant
[1/7/2016 6:20:52 AM] V: I'm sorry for everything please don't do this to me
[1/7/2016 6:21:28 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: im sorry but i'm making the decision i think is best for the group and best for myself
[1/7/2016 6:21:43 AM] V: Grant I'll do anything please I've never felt emotions like this in years
[1/7/2016 6:21:48 AM] V: Please grant
[1/7/2016 6:21:55 AM] V: I won't say anything I'll be quiet
[1/7/2016 6:22:00 AM] V: Please grant I'm sorry
[1/7/2016 6:22:08 AM] V: Don't do this to me
[1/7/2016 6:22:40 AM] V: Grant I won't do anything
[1/7/2016 6:22:49 AM] V: Grant I'm sobbing please don't do this
[1/7/2016 6:23:03 AM] V: Please grant I don't hate you you're just hurting me
[1/7/2016 6:23:13 AM] V: This feels so wrong and fucked up
[1/7/2016 6:23:17 AM] V: Just
[1/7/2016 6:23:26 AM] V: Please grant give me one more chance please
[1/7/2016 6:23:56 AM] V: Please grant I swear I'll be more than nice I'll be anything I'll fucking cut myself if I fail you just stop giving me this feeling
[1/7/2016 6:24:01 AM] V: Please grant
[1/7/2016 6:24:03 AM] V: Please
[1/7/2016 6:24:09 AM] V: I'm aching all over
[1/7/2016 6:24:13 AM] V: Just
[1/7/2016 6:24:14 AM] V: Please
[1/7/2016 6:24:24 AM] V: Grant I swear
[1/7/2016 6:24:32 AM] V: I'm begging you please
[1/7/2016 6:24:59 AM] V: I can't let her around Wesley without me seeing what they're saying or I'll self harm all
Month
[1/7/2016 6:25:17 AM] V: Please don't. I'm begging you please
[1/7/2016 6:25:23 AM] V: Please
[1/7/2016 6:25:37 AM] V: Don't block me just talk to me like a human being
[1/7/2016 6:26:02 AM] V: Grant please I'm crying my eyes out I don't want her out of my life grant don't act like you know what's best for me
[1/7/2016 6:26:09 AM] V: Or I'll hurt her accidentally
[1/7/2016 6:26:18 AM] V: Please grant
[1/7/2016 6:26:19 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: im not blocking you i just am at a lack of things to say aside from vague "oh jesus christ" reactions that im giving the chat
[1/7/2016 6:26:39 AM] V: Grant you have to talk to me
[1/7/2016 6:26:43 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: especially with the holding self harm over my head
[1/7/2016 6:26:49 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: its giving me le epic spongefan flashbacks
[1/7/2016 6:27:20 AM] V: Grant I'm in love with her and I can't let her be around people who sexually harassed me or I'll feel physically sick for months over this
[1/7/2016 6:27:30 AM] V: I won't say anything I swear
[1/7/2016 6:27:45 AM] V: I'll not even post in it much no insults no gossip
[1/7/2016 6:27:58 AM] V: You just can't do this to me it hurts too much I love her
[1/7/2016 6:28:08 AM] V: Please grant
[1/7/2016 6:28:16 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: i mean, what do you think she'll do with wesley
[1/7/2016 6:28:25 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: or like, what do you think hes gonna do to her
[1/7/2016 6:28:58 AM] V: It doesn't matter it's a paranoia and a feeling I'm drenched in bad memories about this
[1/7/2016 6:29:18 AM] V: I once had someone I really cared about lost in a situation like this and it
[1/7/2016 6:29:29 AM] V: Makes me want to throw up
[1/7/2016 6:29:33 AM] V: I just
[1/7/2016 6:29:48 AM] V: Grant I know I'm a bitch a cunt mentally ill pathetic dramatic everything
[1/7/2016 6:30:04 AM] V: But you have to trust me i can't do this
[1/7/2016 6:30:39 AM] V: I'll drink all month literally every day you have no idea what this means to me
[1/7/2016 6:30:56 AM] V: Please grant I'm sorry
[1/7/2016 6:31:13 AM] V: Please don't do this to me this month
[1/7/2016 6:31:27 AM] V: If I act up kick me
[1/7/2016 6:31:40 AM] V: Just one more chance please I'll do anything grant
[1/7/2016 6:31:47 AM] V: Please
[1/7/2016 6:32:00 AM] V: Please don't make me hurt like this
[1/7/2016 6:33:13 AM] V: Grant
[1/7/2016 6:33:25 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: youre forcing me to pick between you or the people who dont want you around, and one choice means you doing self destructive behavior and both give me hella stress
[1/7/2016 6:33:31 AM] V: If I can't be in the chat. I can't be her friend and we'll both end up hurting me
[1/7/2016 6:33:32 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: which leads to awful headaches
[1/7/2016 6:33:36 AM] V: Grant
[1/7/2016 6:33:40 AM] V: It's literally
[1/7/2016 6:33:51 AM] V: She loves me like a sister I love her like a sister
[1/7/2016 6:34:03 AM] V: I can't be friends if she's around him and I'm not
[1/7/2016 6:34:16 AM] V: And we're both going to suffer extreme amounts
[1/7/2016 6:34:19 AM] V: Just
[1/7/2016 6:34:22 AM] V: Grant
[1/7/2016 6:34:29 AM] V: We're both suicidal right now
[1/7/2016 6:34:41 AM] V: Please. Just. Please don't do this.
[1/7/2016 6:35:02 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: you need to just trust her
[1/7/2016 6:35:09 AM] V: I won't be self destructive I swear
[1/7/2016 6:35:27 AM] V: She's telling me she wants to take a bunch of pills right now Grant Jesus fucking Christ
[1/7/2016 6:35:46 AM] V: Just. There's soooo much more going on than you think
[1/7/2016 6:35:48 AM] V: Just
[1/7/2016 6:35:56 AM | Edited 6:36:00 AM] V: Please don't do this to me, and us
[1/7/2016 6:36:14 AM] V: I swear you can kick me just give me a day Grant
[1/7/2016 6:37:19 AM] V: Grant I'll be friends with fucking bsb
[1/7/2016 6:37:26 AM] V: Just don't do this to me
[1/7/2016 6:37:29 AM] V: Please
[1/7/2016 6:40:27 AM] V: Grant our entire relationship has been ruined over this just. Please don't cause any more damage between us it's stressful as fuck for me
[1/7/2016 6:41:10 AM] V: Please Grant I don't want to leave her but I just. This situation isn't emotionally compatible with me and if she's there and I'm not around Wesley I'll have to leave because it hurts too much
[1/7/2016 6:41:38 AM] V: Grant I'm sobbing over this can't you please give me a chance for one last time
[1/7/2016 6:42:14 AM] V: Grant please
[1/7/2016 6:47:12 AM] V: I don't know
[1/7/2016 6:47:49 AM] V: I know Wesley won't hurt vris but I'm just so scared about what they'll say about me
[1/7/2016 6:47:51 AM] V: Please
[1/7/2016 6:47:59 AM] V: Grant I'll love you so much
[1/7/2016 6:48:07 AM] V: Please just.
[1/7/2016 6:48:16 AM] V: Let me in the chat I'll do anything you want
[1/7/2016 6:48:25 AM] V: I'll not even talk
[1/7/2016 6:48:38 AM] V: Please Grant I'm hurting so fucking much tonight
[1/7/2016 6:54:27 AM] V: Grant
[1/7/2016 6:54:34 AM] V: Please
[1/7/2016 6:55:33 AM] V: Please stop ignoring me
[1/7/2016 6:55:55 AM] V: Please Grant I'm begging you on my hands and knees
[1/7/2016 6:56:21 AM | Edited 6:56:33 AM] V: I don't want to stop being vris
's friend I'm drunk and sobbing and I'm a mess just please Grant
[1/7/2016 6:56:54 AM] V: Im begging you so hard please I've never asked for anything harder
[1/7/2016 6:57:14 AM] V: Not even being unbanned this is beyond that I need this or I'm going to suffer a lot
[1/7/2016 6:57:55 AM] V: I need you to help fix my trust issues by letting me and  vris' friendship to continue naturally
[1/7/2016 6:58:12 AM] V: It can't happen like this I'd have to go back a long time
[1/7/2016 6:58:26 AM] V: Please Grant I'm
Begging you please help me
[1/7/2016 7:04:54 AM] V: Well
[1/7/2016 7:05:01 AM] V: It's over now
[1/7/2016 7:05:12 AM] V: And I have you to thank
[1/7/2016 7:05:25 AM] V: Goodbye Grant
[1/7/2016 7:05:50 AM] V: Thank you for letting vris be nothing more to me than another scar on my heart
[1/7/2016 7:06:04 AM] V: I hate you
[1/7/2016 7:06:12 AM] V: I HATE YOU
[1/7/2016 7:06:19 AM] V: WHY
[1/7/2016 7:06:34 AM] V: WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE HELPED
[1/7/2016 3:33:48 PM] V: Never tell anybody about my freak out this morning or I'll be disappointed in you
[1/7/2016 4:39:11 PM] V: wow
[1/7/2016 4:39:14 PM] V: dick
[1/7/2016 4:39:24 PM] obama's hip-hop bbq: i just posted that one line
[1/7/2016 4:39:36 PM] V: oh i didn't think that was you
[1/7/2016 4:39:49 PM] V: but please don't.
[1/7/2016 4:40:12 PM] V: I don't want to get dragged into this bullshit again and that would be a good way to get me dragged into this bullshit again
[1/7/2016 4:40:37 PM] obama's hip-hop bbq: yeah "i dont wanna get dragged into this bullshit" is a feeling i know pretty well
[1/7/2016 4:40:45 PM] V: lol
[1/7/2016 4:40:48 PM] obama's hip-hop bbq: im not gonna post it but lol at you telling me not to drag you into it
[1/7/2016 4:42:11 PM] V: look i was sad and drunk and my trust issues are astronomically huge. idk what more I can say. besides it was a big mistake.
[1/7/2016 4:42:23 PM] V: just.
[1/7/2016 4:42:26 PM] V: a series of mistakes
[1/8/2016 8:10:34 PM] V: grant, can you please just. add me to the chat.
[1/8/2016 8:10:41 PM] V: i promise I won't even insult anybody
[1/8/2016 8:10:46 PM] V: like ever
[1/8/2016 8:14:23 PM] V: grant if you're doing this to protect me emotionally
[1/8/2016 8:14:36 PM] V: I can say for a fact this is ripping me apart more being out of it
[1/8/2016 8:15:47 PM] V: because. It's complicated. but. it just. hurts me more than being out of it because it stops me from just being around one of my best friends in a casual way. but. it also hurts a lot more because she can talk casually with people who took advantage of me and laughed about it.
[1/8/2016 8:15:48 PM] V: And
[1/8/2016 8:16:28 PM] V: it's just reminded me no matter what I do. I don't have control over how people think of my emotions and that just makes it worse and makes me lash out at people I care about.
[1/8/2016 8:17:11 PM] V: and that just reminds me that no matter what I do, I'll always be fucking controlled by how I react with my past. No matter what I do, for the rest of my fucking life.
[1/8/2016 8:17:43 PM] V: So in short. the circumstances at hand have made me. just. just don't judge me for what I have to say
[1/8/2016 8:18:41 PM] V: It's made me feel like I'm eventually going to hurt my girlfriend somehow. it's made me feel like the pain in my chest that never goes away right now is just going to come on and off and ruin everything. So, I tried over dosing twice
[1/8/2016 8:19:02 PM] V: one yesterday morning I threw up. one this morning I survived.
[1/8/2016 8:20:11 PM] V: it has nothing to do with hsg. it's just, that I feel powerless. about my situation here. and about how I'm always going to get ripped apart inside when it feels like someone who took advantage of me is always going to be dominant.
[1/8/2016 8:20:41 PM] V: Basically, I have no reason to hurt anyone because. in this fucked up way, I know that the consequences of lashing out would hurt me more in the long run.
[1/8/2016 8:21:08 PM] V: I promise. I swear to god I won't mock or insult anyone. Even bsb. I just. am getting ruined by this grant
[1/8/2016 8:21:56 PM] V: love and lack of control over who insults me that way in front of someone I love. it's humiliating grant.
[1/8/2016 8:22:04 PM] V: I'll do anything to stop that feeling.
[1/8/2016 8:22:06 PM] V: I'll do anything.
[1/8/2016 8:22:23 PM] V: Please just, trust me I'll never hurt a fly because it'd just hurt me more
[1/8/2016 8:25:48 PM] V: grant can you at least like. talk to me about this. please.
[1/8/2016 8:30:40 PM] V: please just. say something whenever you can.
[1/8/2016 8:38:29 PM] V: grant. please talk to me. don't ignore me
[1/8/2016 8:38:35 PM] V: just. can we at least talk about this
[1/8/2016 10:06:39 PM] V: grant
[1/8/2016 10:06:50 PM] V: fucking
[1/8/2016 10:06:54 PM] V: talk to me about this
[1/8/2016 10:06:56 PM] V: please
[1/8/2016 10:07:02 PM] V: pleeeeease
[1/8/2016 10:07:27 PM] V: Grant fucking please
[1/8/2016 10:07:41 PM] V: just listen to me talk to me anything
[1/8/2016 10:07:42 PM] V: please
[1/8/2016 10:07:43 PM] V: fucking
[1/8/2016 10:08:19 PM] V: I was with my girlfriend now I'm in my car and my make up is a fucking wreck and i've got mascara to my chin because me and vris are fighting and I feel like going away
[1/8/2016 10:08:20 PM] V: just
[1/8/2016 10:08:27 PM] V: please grant please say something
[1/8/2016 10:08:40 PM] V: stop being tough macho man who stays by his word and shit just talk to me please
[1/8/2016 10:08:47 PM] V: stop ignoring me
[1/8/2016 10:09:00 PM] V: I hate this fucking stop grant
[1/8/2016 10:14:15 PM] V: FUCKING
[1/8/2016 10:14:17 PM] V: GRANT
[1/8/2016 10:14:19 PM] V: ANSWER ME
[1/8/2016 10:20:35 PM] V: grant i hate you now
[1/8/2016 10:20:40 PM] V: you're so
[1/8/2016 10:20:42 PM] V: just
[1/8/2016 10:21:00 PM] V: you've hurt me so many times over the course of my time I don't think I've known anything else
[1/8/2016 10:21:08 PM] V: i can't be friends woth you
[1/8/2016 10:21:12 PM] V: i can't care about you
[1/8/2016 10:21:17 PM] V: all you ever do is hurt me
[1/8/2016 10:21:25 PM] V: so fuck off with your sympathy be more like bsb
[1/8/2016 10:21:37 PM] V: all your sympathy does is stab me and twist the knfe
[1/8/2016 10:22:32 PM] V: and you'll never respond to me so what's the use
[1/8/2016 10:22:41 PM] V: you've hurt me enough
[1/8/2016 10:39:24 PM] V: I'm tired of losing friends over the consequences to your actions
[1/8/2016 10:39:29 PM] V: I'm tired of everything
[1/8/2016 10:39:44 PM] V: I'm tired of losing friends because I'm nothing but my past and bitching
[1/8/2016 10:39:59 PM] V: I'm on my way home and I'm going to dump all my pill bottles in me
[1/8/2016 10:40:06 PM] V: Nice
[1/8/2016 10:40:33 PM] V: I'm tired of living like this always shedding friends because of my past and you won't respond to this anyways
[1/8/2016 10:40:51 PM] V: Thank you for all the pain and energy I've wasted
[1/8/2016 10:41:16 PM] V: On people who hurt me like you al my life
[1/8/2016 10:42:17 PM] V: If that's what you wanted you got what you wanted I'm going to overdose right into hell tonight
[1/8/2016 10:43:47 PM] V: That means suicide if you're curious
[1/9/2016 1:01:44 AM] V: Well Vris talked me out of it unfortunately
[1/17/2016 11:13:55 PM] V: grant how long has vris been in the chat.
[1/17/2016 11:14:10 PM] obama's hip-hop bbq: what chat
[1/17/2016 11:14:34 PM] V: the main chat don't act coy I made the mistake of checking the thread on my phone
[1/17/2016 11:15:18 PM] V: just. answer the question because it'll feel worse if I don't know and she was just lying about it to make me feel better.
[1/17/2016 11:15:32 PM] obama's hip-hop bbq: idk, she'd left a bunch of times and people kept adding her
[1/17/2016 11:15:35 PM] obama's hip-hop bbq: i havent been paying much attention
[1/17/2016 11:15:52 PM] obama's hip-hop bbq: ive been preoccupied lately
[1/17/2016 11:16:03 PM] obama's hip-hop bbq: with having big gaping oozing holes in my jawbones and stuff
[1/17/2016 11:16:16 PM] V: that certainly sucks
[1/17/2016 11:17:49 PM] V: i've been preoccupied with a funeral and trying to stay functionally happy.
[1/17/2016 11:19:52 PM] V: so has she been long talking to people and stuff and just sort of gave in. talking about me behind my back.
[1/17/2016 11:22:57 PM] V: or ignore me whatever i can't blame you for it
[1/17/2016 11:24:15 PM] obama's hip-hop bbq: i didnt notice skype going off and i dont really want to get involved, sorry
[1/17/2016 11:24:32 PM] V: just
[1/17/2016 11:24:50 PM] V: all i need to know. is if she's been talking about me. that's it.
[1/17/2016 11:25:08 PM] obama's hip-hop bbq: not that ive seen
[1/17/2016 11:25:27 PM] V: great
[1/17/2016 11:26:07 PM] V: but she's been talking and telling me she wants to go with me wherever the wind takes us and that she doesn't want to do anything with hsg.
[1/17/2016 11:26:59 PM] V: whatever why do i even log in this account anymore.
[1/17/2016 11:29:46 PM] V: you could just tell me if this was a mix up and she hasn't said anything and clear this whole thing up.
[1/17/2016 11:32:13 PM] V: Dude please tell me
[1/17/2016 11:33:18 PM] V: please
[1/17/2016 11:36:27 PM] V: fine
[1/17/2016 11:46:12 PM] V: i wish i couldn't cry for help to you of all people
[1/17/2016 11:47:12 PM] V: I'm sure you're telling the group "vfan is going ape" again
[1/18/2016 12:02:28 AM] V: Just remember. I may come back if I have not much left with vris just in order to hurt myself. And you don't want that, do you.
[1/18/2016 12:03:39 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: i do not negotiate with terrorists, i wont let myself be manipulated by threats
[1/18/2016 12:04:00 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: i dont want you to die but i'm not going to be jerked around because of threats of self harm
[1/18/2016 12:04:12 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: im not getting involved in the you and vris thing
[1/18/2016 12:04:27 AM] V: I'm saying hurting myself by posting on hsg
[1/18/2016 12:04:47 AM] V: Not literal.
[1/18/2016 12:05:33 AM] V: And I'm not negotiating with you I'm just letting you know that I feel like shit and I have absolutely no one to air it out to and only one place to exhaust it
[1/18/2016 12:09:44 AM | Edited 12:09:54 AM] V: If you don't want that to happen stop letting vris lie to me because she's my only tangential thread I have left connected to your hell hole
[2:53:03 AM] V: you know. you're falling right into my hands by doing this and acting out the way you are.
[2:53:56 AM] V: I won't even bother try explaining how. You're too daft to graduate high school I doubt you could figure something so simple out.
[2:55:25 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: (cwl)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)
[2:56:33 AM] V: it's not really a joke. I mean you acting like a self absorbed ass hole just because I'm stepping on your toes has social consequences.
[2:56:48 AM] V: Consequences I'm going to use to my advantage to rip people away from you.
[2:57:04 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: (cwl)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)(ok)
[2:57:20 AM] V: for one
[2:57:27 AM] V: wouter hates a lot of what you do
[2:57:33 AM] V: for two
[2:57:40 AM] V: roasted hates a lot of what you do
[2:57:43 AM] V: for three
[2:57:44 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: i dont think ur best bud will appreciate being used as a pawn....
[2:58:10 AM] V: how am I using anyone as a pawn you're just showing people the type of person you are.
[2:58:30 AM] V: I didn't do anything in fact I can't even say that I asked you to do this for me.
[2:58:41 AM] V: The only pawn here is you.
[2:59:10 AM] V: And that's because you can't see the consequences because you've never actually lived with any.
[2:59:31 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: i will make time in my calender to fear your wrath
[2:59:39 AM] V: what wrath
[2:59:51 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: [2:56 AM] V: 

<<< Consequences I'm going to use to my advantage to rip people away from you.
[3:00:16 AM] V: do you honestly think throwing a tantrum over me will just fly well with people I talk to regularly
[3:00:30 AM] obama's hip-hop bbq: [3:00 AM] Wesley: 

<<< also tell vfan I said hi