Thing is, the guy was somebody I just ERPd with.
I was massively 'paranoid' the entire time that he didn't like me at all, he lied to me and said he loved me.

And I let him convince me I was wrong.

I was also massively self concious about whether I was even good enough and he kept going off to do other stuff/get more people to ERP with while me and him were doing things knowing that it upsets me.

So I overreacted a little, then he gave me the silent treatment, then he started giving me a "second chance" where I was begging him for RP hugs and to be allowed to say "I love you" to him again and he was fucking ruthless with my feelings.

And then somebody else was nice enough to tell me that he'd said in front of them that he never liked me and always found me annoying like an insect.


I was the one who introduced him to all the people he became friends with, who invited him to the group, encouraged everyone to get along with him.

He used me.

And I still can't make myself fucking hate him.