#31 okay, so after trying to type this on my phone i decided to get out of the bath tub and let you know something important, because you mean a lot to me. K, SO. please don't leave. you're one of the only reasons i have left and i'm sorry if that's stupid or selfish or doesn't make very much sense, but it's just the truth. you are someone in my life i look foreard to listening to, obviously in the sense of me reading your blog but still. you're signifigant and i care about you. i can't say anything to make this easier on you, so i'm sorry. i hope that whatever you choose to do makes you happy. if not i hope the pain feels good, and i am so sorry if that was offensive for me to say. i ahve this thing where i apologize a lot. blaaaahh please be ok. because a person as interesting, fun, cute, pretty, creative, tasteful (in music and shows and comedy etc. because you're so fucking lovely for all of the above), and i absolutely adore the way you think if that makes sense. ugh i am so sorry if i sound like a creep but listen. before i came upstairs to get a bubble bath i was in my bedroom for a couple of hours writing and drawing random things listening to la dispute and panic and fob and mayday parade just crying and wishing i had a gun. i was smoking a cigarette, and when i went to put it out i thought okay this is enough i'm going to go upstairs and get a bath and cut because i can't take very much more of this. i went up and got undressed and stuff and was on tumblr on my phone.. and i read your post. i legitimately started to cry, i'm sorry. it broke my heart. FUCK WHY CAN'T I THINK OF ANYTHING TO SAY TO YOU. Your taste in music is fantastic. I love how you like brendon and ryan and marshall and bo.